Happy Monday

INTERNAL MEMO:

It has come to managements' attention that there are some individuals that believe it is "OK" to spontaneously generate spawn. As you should all know, due the contract that everyone scratched upon hiring, we clearly prohibit such prokaryotic behavior. As your contract clear states in Point 5, sub bullet 3, clause 2.1.3.5, sentence 2/3, on page 217, that it is a violation of employment to practice the any arts associated with spawn generation in any vestibule, domicile, or vacant tree.

A few have questioned the rationale regarding this stance, as it would seem a self-sustained re-new able resource of gnomes would be advantageous towards our prosperity. This is an utterly untrue statement that the Bentham-ites want you to believe. With the associated costs attributed to these newly anchored spawn it would impede our ability to satisfy our clients and slightly miss their expectations, as is expected.

We welcome your thoughts and input. Please provide it to the nearest bon-fire for the quickest response.

Happy Monday INC LLC Management

Happy Monday INC LLC is a subsidiary of This Week Mega-Coup and is a Equal Opportunity Gnome Employer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAh9pjvqH0o

Green Garden

From SFGate.com:

Unlike the architect whose house has a perpetually leaking roof, or the cobbler whose shoes need mending, Michael Pollan has a new garden that speaks of a professional who practices what he preaches. For the author and journalism professor - who has almost single-handedly set the national agenda on food production and, in books such as "The Omnivore's Dilemma" and "In Defense of Food," advocated vigorously for fresh, locally produced food - has a front yard that is at once pleasing to the eye, environmentally responsible and very productive.

Happy Monday

From MDK e-mail:

A few years ago I saw an equation: Caesar - Brute = Awesome, followed by Brute SUCKS! I thought the equation was a little self-fulfilling.

Granted, this was Post-Ides-of-March. Sure, it took a fortnight or a dozen moons before we heard about it in Iberia but it was still scary! The world had changed. Our navigator was now being played by an infant. How we rued the Ides. The Denarius started to drop and we didn't know why the rock tax had increased, we had plenty of resources but our taxes were INCREASING! Caesar had brought us redistribution of land, public works projects, and then he was gone, our captain was brought down by the very hand that had once lifted him.

Now several years later, everything appears to be going "okay", sure the Denarius has recovered a little and the symposium rate is at it's lowest point since the index was created (Don't like to Marcus's Happy Fortnight stump speech, this may be assisting us in a national security sense, but it is really hurting the wine industry), but there have been no attacks on the Ides of any month so I guess the the new Caesar is doing alright. Oh and the rock tax still sucks.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/victim_in_fatal_car_accident

And an added bonus feature!

http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/200911060002

Happy Monday

From MDK e-mail:

WOLVERINES!!

With the economy turning around we at Happy Monday LLC INC. thought it would be nice to remind everyone of their patriotic duty to keep this economic train a movin'. Be warned though, if you listen carefully, you may hear the Canadians plotting. This deviously poor plan is to first take our hearts through country-rock and alt-teeny-pop-punk. With our hearts taken they believe we will bolster their economy through purchases of cassette tapes. Yes, it is quite clever, fiendishly clever. With these new learnings be leery of anyone who pronounces words similar to 'process' without the 'awe' sound but with a long O. There is no reason for such a blatant disregard for the American Language. Keep an open ear my friends, keep an open ear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF1b1pf9DRY

If you do not hear any of your fellows butcher the American Language then watch for people with crafty charting. This is their second flank steak with gravy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWIlp323qD4

Happy Monday

From MDK e-mail:

As a child I hated denim. The look, the feel, it butchered my belief in comfort. "How could something so stylistically popular be fiendishly unpractical." Of coarse, this was my rational at the age of 6. Seeing that I had scaled mountains, fought off the lions of Tunisia, and had realized that the 'American Standard' toilet company was a front company based in Dubai. Oh, by the wit of Akbar!

Anyway, it wasn't until a fortnight, or twelve, later that I awoke to the magic of denim. It is corporal mortification! Thereby, when you wear new denim you were killing for flesh to cleaning your soul. In the mountains of Nepal, I had heard whispers of this but never fully grasped this. But, after learning that there was a black market in Eastern Europe, that I could clearly see. Russian missionaries spread the gospel, through DENIM. The following year, I had gone through 32 pairs of jeans. There where no holes in the knees, no wrinkles. They appeared in all cases pristine. But, it wasn't until my mother provided me with the ultimatum of, denim or a new voltron action figure that I stopped by this solice finding behavior.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga0ohgZFVqc